so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
