I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
