Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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