ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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