I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
