end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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