I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
