Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
