Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
the raccoons are back...
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