I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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