Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
