my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
