I have demons in me.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
