ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
