You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
