I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
