I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
