do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
