it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
