They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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