I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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