the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
nutella sex= disaster
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
