it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize