I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
