Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
