I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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