So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
