Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
