It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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