We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
