I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
