Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i love accidental penises.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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