note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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