It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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