Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
