so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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