That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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