I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize