I think my vagina is haunted
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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