He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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