That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
