i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
