So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize