Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
