Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
