i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
