do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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