As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
