Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
