you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
