Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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