I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I am available for nakedness
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
