i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
