yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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