All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
