You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Your penis caused this!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize