They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
